Category: poetry

Social Immobility

Social Immobility

Dr Jessica Eaton

Before you even see me, you hear the way I drop my Ts

I mispronounce the words from books

And I laugh at the formalities

These halls don’t want me and I know I’m out of place

You explain the etiquette rules

And I try to hide the confusion on my face

Kanye said, ‘We wasn’t supposed to make it past 25’ I laugh and cry at those song lyrics

Cos I guess most of us are still alive

Josh died from drugs at 25 and Johnny was shot dead at 19 Mickey was inside by 21 and I was pregnant by 16

Kat had a baby from rape at 12 and Emily was stealing coke

We sold illegal CDs at school cos we were all so fuckin broke

Milli and Danny were both ran over by cars

And all the girls were touched up to allow them entry to the bars

Jess was stabbed at 17 and Weedy went missing when we were kids

Teachers told us we would never do anything, and some of us never did

The military recruited my mates at 16 and they went off to war

Scrawny lads risking their lives for £14K

Cos they know that’s a jackpot when you’re poor

We were all on drugs and drink by 13 and we dreamed of escape

We said we would grow up to be strippers and ballers

Whilst we were oppressed, abused and raped

But Laura ended up a teacher and Louise is now a lawyer

And Kim speaks three languages and works for a famous employer

Liam went from bottom set maths to a leader in education

Aimee is a midwife and Dan designs train stations

Alex is an artist and Jenny is a nurse

Becky escaped the YMCA, went to uni and got a first

Steph is a surgeon and I got my PhD

We are all the things they told us we could never be

And yet here I am in these halls, being told that I don’t belong

Told to tone it down, or change it up

My accent, my clothes and my upbringing is all wrong

I chat about my estate and the gulley and the weed

You don’t want someone like me teaching here And I was never supposed to get the PhD

I won’t hide where I’m from and I won’t forget where I was grown

That council estate where we all lived and died

Is carved on us like etchings into stone

I will stay where I am not welcome, and talk it to the youth

They cannot be what they cannot see

And they need to know the unashamed truth

#workingclassacademics

#councilestateacademics

Tweet: @Jessicae13Eaton

Email: Jessica@victimfocus.org.uk

Website: http://www.victimfocus.org.uk

I analysed the searches people used to read my blog and it’s not good news for women 

I analysed the searches people used to read my blog and it’s not good news for women

By Jessica Eaton

27th December 2018

Content warning for sexual violence and search terms by abusive and violent people

In 2018, my blog had just over one million views. I write about victim blaming, psychology of sexual violence, child sexual abuse and trauma for the most part. I’ve also written some very popular blogs about feminism and whataboutery.

My wordpress account collects search term data where available and I have been intrigued to see what people write in Google to end up reading my blogs. I did promise everyone that I would perform a basic thematic analysis on the dataset and show you the findings. Well, here we are. It’s pretty bad.

First some stats:

Out of one million views, the majority came from facebook, Twitter and other social networks and forums such as Mumsnet.

75,347 of them came directly from search engines using search terms and keywords

Of these, 28,236 were not available or unknown

Leaving 47,111 search terms I can analyse

I removed just under 4000 search terms that deliberately looked for my work containing my name or a copied and pasted link to my blog

Therefore, I had around 43k search terms left to group into broad themes.
The results are below, and paint a pretty depressing picture for women, girls and feminism – but as I will explain, provide some hope and direction for 2019.


Theme 1: Questions about whether women and men can be equal



Examples of searches:

Are men and women equal

Are women equal to men

Men and women can never be equal

Can men and women be equally successful

Do women want equality or feminism

Men and women are not equal

Why do women want equality

Women are not oppressed

Girls and man can never be equal

Women are not equal to men

What men have that women don’t

How women should behave right in society

Women should not be given equal rights

Men don’t want to work with women

Boys are more moral than girls in society

This theme was the largest of all of the themes, and provided evidence that thousands of people are looking for answers online about whether women can be equal to men. This is a contentious issue and the phrasing differed depending on the person. This theme suggested to me that we have much work to do in order to talk about and achieve equality (more like equity) of the sexes. Clearly people want to talk about and learn about this so maybe we should create resources, programmes, books, lessons and materials about this?


Theme 2: People sure do hate feminism and feminists 

Examples of searches:

Feminism is evil

I hate feminism

I hate feminists

Feminism is the belief that women are better than men

Feminists are unfair against men

Women cannot acknowledge men

Girls who don’t like feminism

Why men end up hating women

Feminists shut down talk about men’s issues

Why women are not held accountable

In 2018, guys can’t even talk to women

Feminism is bad

Stay away from feminists

Feminism is wrong

Refusing feminism

Why feminism is bad

How can feminists love men

Why people hate feminism

Feminists think women are better

Why I hate feminists

Men don’t want a feminist

How to change a girl so she is not a feminist

How to get my girlfriend to stop being a feminist

The world does not need feminists

Crazy feminists

Could women wage war against men

Are women becoming a threat to us men

Why men don’t want females to rule

Women will become just as bad as men

Feminism is shit

Is feminism destroying men

Female supremacy is close

Sick of feminists

Lies feminists tell

This theme is interesting because it contained so much information we can use to understand people’s fear of feminism. There is the tired stereotype of feminists being evil man hating women, but there are also men actively trying to dissuade their female partners away from feminism – to the point where they are googling how to stop their wives and girlfriends from being feminist. Eek.

There is also the confusion caused by the man-hating stereotype that has left many people confused as to how feminists are marrying men and having families (this one cracks me up on the regular but we have to take this seriously because it means people genuinely can’t believe that feminists can love their male friends, partners, colleagues, family members etc).

The final issue is the fear that feminism will lead to a world in which women treat men the way men currently treat women. Now that’s some interesting shit. How can you possibly claim women are not oppressed or that women are equal and simultaneously be worried that women might one day treat you the way you treated them? Hmm?

Theme 3: Curiosity about feminism

Examples of searches:

Things feminists say

What women think about feminism

What do feminists think of domestic abuse against men?

Is it good or bad thing to be a feminist?

Feminism is it right or wrong?

What do women want in feminism?

How to safely explain you’re feminist to a man

Can a man be a feminist?

Do feminist think all men are rapists?

Why is feminism important?

Why should I become radical feminist?

Should I stop talking to a guy who hates feminism?

Why aren’t there any old feminist?

Do feminists fight for men too?

Did any feminist ever help men’s issues?

Why do people hate feminism?

If I become a feminist, do I need to hate men?

Do women realise that feminism isn’t working?

How does a feminist find love with a man?

Are there any movements that can dismantle feminism?

This theme presents opportunity. Don’t be put off by some of the questions, they all present opportunities for us to educate and talk to people so feminism is not misconstrued or deliberately twisted. There are lots of common misconceptions here that we can write blogs, give speeches, make videos and talk about.

The one thing that did worry me was the amount of women who were searching how to tell their boyfriend or partner or male relative that they were feminist, whilst being concerned about their own safety. These women are clearly worried about violence or consequences of being ‘outed’ as a feminist and that means in some families and relationships, feminism and women’s rights are not welcome at all.

Theme 4: Porn, child abuse imagery and sexual violence 

Example searches:

Chicken nugget sex

Use my pussy

Skool pussy

Beat that pussy up

Beat women sex

Women who like to be beaten and fucked

Sex where I can beat the woman

Sex with big mum

Film a rape

Kim kardashian nude photos

Extension pussy

Sex with chicken live videos

Girls who like their pussy beat

Beat up a girl and fuck her

Pakistani rapes white girl porn

Women who like being raped

Women who have had babies being fucked

Young teens in tight slutty bathing suits

Pregnant women porn

Rape porn sex

Young care giver porn

Raped college girlfriends

Stories of very young girls first time

Terrorists forcing women to fuck porn

Terrorist rapes girl porn

A man beating a lady up and fucking her

Beaten woman having sex porn

Porn video of woman getting the shit kicked out of her

XXX cse porn

Little girl in sexy swim suit raped sex videos

Raping a 15 year old girl video

Sexually abuse my daughter film

Rape virginity child pain

Chubby little girls in swimsuits porn

Well, what can I say after that list? We have some serious issues here. Clearly a real arousal from violence against women and young girls with many searches for beating and raping women and girls. This is nothing new. Gail Dines, Julia Long, Suzan Blac, Julie Bindel and even NSPCC and Barnardo’s have been warming of this trend for a long time. Violence is now in the majority of all porn. The torture, beating and raping of women and girls has become normalised.

What it does make me wonder is why so many people searching for such horrendous abuse imagery and porn end up clicking on my blog instead and reading my work. I can’t imagine that’s what they set out to do. Maybe that’s why I get so many angry blog comments from men.


Theme 5: Misogyny

Examples of searches:

I hate being a woman

I hate female bodies

I’m a girl but I don’t want to be a woman

I don’t want to be a woman anymore

Women get the shittiest end of everything

Being a man must be easier than being female

Proof that women are shit

Women cause most of worlds problems

Women are evil

Women don’t deserve rights

Women are inferior to men

Can a slut truly escape her past

I hate women in power

The problem with women these days

Without male authority women fall apart

Women secretly like being treated bad

Women have become evil

Women are worthless

Why women lead men on

Women should serve men

Women have annoying personalities

This one was quite a sad finding. Especially the amount of women who just didn’t want to be women anymore because they couldn’t stand it. We’ve been talking about this trend all year and I’m sad my findings support it, but women and girls just don’t want to put up with misogyny anymore and some hate being women and girls.

However, it’s not hard to see why when you add theme 4 and the other search terms from theme 5. Who the hell would want to be a female in this world with these beliefs and values about us?


Theme 6: People need answers and women need support 

Example searches:

Can you educate people to stop rape?

I was raped

Rape education

Should I I ever say rape?

Should I get raped or abused?

Can CSA cause bpd?

Why did woman faint during rape?

Borderline personality disorder caused by abusive relationships

Did being raped cause my bpd?

Pains a rape victim might go through

Reducing rape incidents

Why is rape a crime?

Why does sex hurt me after molestation?

Sexual trauma symptoms

Muscle soreness after rape

How do I stop rape thoughts?

My abusive husband watches men rape me what do I do?

Women with bpd make false sexual assault reports

Why do girls with bpd always cry rape?

Other women who have survived rape

I cannot do the things my husband wants me to do in bed

Why do I hypersexualise after rape?

Physical injuries after I was raped

Medical problems after sexual assault

Feel dirty and see myself as object after rape

This theme was made up of the thousands of people seeking answers to a range of questions. Those questions reveal issues we need to address. The first is around borderline personality disorder and why it is being linked to rape. I know my answer to that is that many women and girls who are told they have BPD are usually suffering from trauma from abuse, oppression or violence and BPD is a sexist, catch-all diagnosis. However, there were a lot of people asking very derogatory questions about women and girls with BPD diagnoses that suggested people believe they lie about abuse and rape. That needs addressing very robustly.

There were a lot of people who found my blog by seeking advice or information about rape, abuse or sex. This means that we need to increase the amount of accessible information about more niches issues around these topics to accompany the huge collection of general information we already host on topics such as abuse, rape and violence.

Final words

The search terms used to find my blog fit into six broad themes. They suggest that misogyny, sexual violence and a hatred of feminism is rising – but that there are still thousands of people seeking advice, answers, information and support about rape, violence, sex and feminism that we can continue to help – whilst we come together to fight the obvious, powerful hatred of women and women’s rights.

2019 is not going to be easy, but we have so much to work towards and we are definitely capable of reaching millions of people worldwide to provide the information people need to understand feminism, sexual violence, misogyny and trauma.

Written by Jessica Eaton

Email: jessica@victimfocus.org.uk

Web: http://www.victimfocus.org.uk

I’m leading the heathen uprising – Jessica Eaton 

Written by Jessica Eaton 

21 June 2018 

 

I’m leading the heathen uprising

We’re the kids with a solution

Our experiences are synchronising

Come join my revolution

 

The underclass can be the thunderclass

Come make a noise with me

 

I’m influencing our women and girls

We’re the females with a voice

Time to shake up and show the world

My revolution is no longer a choice

 

The pussyclass can be the pushyclass

Come get aggressive with me

 

I’m corrupting the corrupt system

We are the motormouth youth

We all know why you missed them

My revolution knows the truth

 

The youngerclass can be the hungerclass

Come get food for thought with me

 

I’m bringing them from the estates

We are demanding back control

We won’t fall for your news clickbaits

My revolution is for the prole

 

The nowhereclass can be the fanfareclass

Come write a symphony with me

 

I’m shouting louder for the survivors

We’re the ones that they call broken

We support him and revive her

My revolution is outspoken

 

The silencedclass can be the diamondclass

Come shine your light with me

 

I’m leading the heathen uprising

We’re the millions with the solution

No more compromising

We need a revolution

Come join my revolution

Become the revolution

***

I wrote this in a few minutes this morning whilst thinking about the way I can be perceived and written about. I was also thinking about how the masses are positioned as powerless against dominant narratives and ideologies. The way they are silenced and the way they are minimised because their perspectives are not valued. The way their community leaders are discounted as ‘not real leaders’.

I’m me. I know myself and I know who I am, what I am, how I am and why I am. I love myself through and through – and that’s no mean feat. I couldn’t have said that to you a few years back, when I was doubting myself and wondering who I was and where my life would end up. But the more confident I got in who I was and what I am here to do, the more problems people had with me. It made me realise that they preferred me when I was less sure of myself. They preferred me when I kept my words in my mouth. They preferred me when I second-guessed myself and assumed everyone else could do a better job than me. They preferred me when I avoided the difficult points because it made their life easier. They preferred me when I wrote an essay fourteen times and then deleted it because I told myself I would never be good enough.

In the words of one of my radfem friends, I have had ‘everything and the kitchen sink’ thrown at me to try to shut me up. I actually can’t think of something that has not been said about me yet. All the normal sexist shit a vocal woman would get. Plus some other personal stuff when they had ran out of ammo.

‘You’re too critical, you need to be nicer.’

‘If you challenge people, you won’t have any friends left.’

‘You’re aggressive and nasty.’

‘You’re fat/ugly/disgusting/you’re hair is shit/*insert appearance based insult here*’

‘You’re common.’

‘You need to learn to be more diplomatic.’

‘You lie about your career experience, you’re only 27, you cannot have done those things.’

‘You’re not good enough to do this.’

‘You are a know it all.’

‘You don’t even have your PhD yet, you shouldn’t be giving speeches.’

‘You are emotionally unstable.’

‘You’re proud that you’re from a council estate.’

‘You bring the field into disrepute by talking about your real life.’

‘You can’t challenge police and authorities as an academic, you have to do it behind closed doors.’

‘Activism and academia don’t mix.’

‘You’re covered in tattoos.’

‘You swear too much to be a professional.’

‘She was raped as a child and had a baby, so she can’t be a good professional.’

I’ve literally heard it all. And you know what? All this says much more about them than it does about me. You know what else? 30,000 readers of this blog a month and 11,000 followers on twitter, thousands of views on YouTube and over 1800 followers on facebook with thousands of downloads of my reports every year and a diary that means I am fully booked until next year means I’m doing something right.

I don’t have to conform to be a good leader or role model. I don’t have to be a smiley, pretty, well-dressed, clear-skinned, diplomatic, well-spoken, perfect-history fucking automaton to make a good point about a social issue. I don’t need to be all of those things to know the solution to a problem. I don’t need to be an academic poster-child chasing a postdoc to be an expert in my own right.

This point is important to me and important to the poem. To have your point heard, you have to be a certain kind of person in our messed up world. You can’t be young. You can’t be black. You can’t be female. You can’t be from an ethnic minority group. You can’t have mental health issues or trauma histories. You can’t be disabled. You can’t be gay or lesbian and bi. You can’t be a survivor. You can’t be poor. You can’t be an immigrant. You can’t be too old either. In fact, as long as you aren’t one of those things, you can pretty much say and do what the fuck you like without much judgement. But if you do rise up and talk or act – and you are one or many of those things, you will be judged on those characteristics, and not what you say or do. We have powerful rich white men and women in power who can do and say whatever they like, then turn on a sixpence, then lie about it or deny it, then pay someone to make it all go away with a news story scandal that will distract the masses from what they said or did.

We cannot allow this to continue. We must create a society where diverse voices are heard and what they say is not equated to their characteristics or experiences. ‘Oh you’re just saying that because you’re lesbian.’ ‘Oh you only raise this point because you’re black.’ ‘You are only doing this because you’re on benefits.’ Every time we do this, we minimise the power of the masses. This in-fighting leads us nowhere.

The poem talks about groups of people in poverty, our youth generation, our women and girls, our huge population of adults and children who have suffered abuse and neglect and our communities in deprived areas with less opportunity. Those groups are not exclusive.

There is a quote I love which says ‘the people don’t know their true power’

Image result for the people dont know their true power

And the reason I love it so much is because it is true. It reminds me that if we were ever organised and strong enough to turn our backs on certain ideologies, narratives, systems, governments, organisations or individuals – they would have no power left. At present, the people are effectively controlled, oppressed, minimised, silenced, humiliated, stigmatised and divided to ensure that they never work together to rise up and change their own world. Whilst they are busy in-fighting, they can’t organise.

We know that people are being oppressed. We know that families are relying on foodbanks. We know that women and girls are being raped. We know that the youth are being demonised and failed by us. We know that academia and access to higher education is becoming more and more elite. We know that the right wing media position people on benefits as lazy and useless in society. We know that hatred of immigrants and ethnic minority groups is deliberately spread in the media. We know that the working classes are being convinced that they are ‘middle class’ so they don’t identify with those people who are struggling. We know that our institutions and our authorities are racist and classist. We know that ‘working hard’ is not enough. We know that our society is based on a hierarchy where white rich men are the winners at every event.

But what do we do about it?

The internet has given us the platform to revolt, to campaign, to protest, to get involved in activism. Right now, our media use is becoming more and more monitored and policed. It is likely that we will eventually move towards models used in other countries where the internet and electronic communication is heavily policed and censored.

Before that happens, we need to work together to change what we don’t like. We have to call out the truth. We have to support the whistleblowers. We have to lift each other up in challenge. We have to allow space for the controversial points. We have to have the difficult arguments. We have to organise together. We have to empower our youth. We have to uncover our hidden communities and give them a platform. We have to teach others to become media-critical. We have to hold abusers to account. We have to demand our human rights are observed.

Embrace your unconventional leaders in your own lives and fields of work. Who inspires you to become better? Who inspires you to revolt? Who makes you feel capable of change? Who empowers you to change something that bothers you? Who makes you rethink your whole position? Who makes you feel worth something more?

Those are your true leaders.